1.9 - Family Reunion (pt.1)

It has been 18 months since Jade's birth now. Winter is slowly approaching, Jade can finally stand upright on her own two feet and Ruby is so active that Kerry has been considering enrolling her in a dance class to get rid of some of that energy.

Kerry has been a 24-hour stay-at-home-mom since then, and it's a job much tougher than what she used to do at 2Pro Inc. But also much more rewarding.

"Mom! Mom! Mom! MOM, look what I can do!!!", Ruby yells and swings her legs over her body into a handstand that is certainly impressive for her age.
"Jay do!", the little one yells in response and tries to mimic her sister's stunts, but her feet still remain on the floor.

"Wow, that's great! But just don't hurt yourself please... Maybe you want to go outside to play so you don't bump into any furniture, yes?"

Now that it's already been one and a half years since Jade's birth she's ready to get back to work and has been sending out job applications again. Thanks to the job reference letter she blackmailed out of Jade's father some rivaling companies actually expressed interest in her applications, much different from when she tried to find a job as a fresh school drop-out!

There's a particular company she has set her eyes on and has been checking her mails frequently for a reply, but today there is something in her inbox she didn't expect.

You received a private message on ancestry.sim!

"Hm, what's that?"
It's been more than two years since Kerry ordered this DNA kit out of curiosity because she knew so little of where she comes from. She pretty much forgot about this site since then and has no idea who could send her a message there.
She clicks the link.

Hello Kerry,
this is Marcus Brooks. I took a DNA test to find out more about my heritage and received a message from ancestry.sim about a parental match with you. This means that I am your biological father with a 99.9% probability.
I know this might be a shock to you but I'd love the opportunity to talk to you about this further.

She just sits there in silence for a moment. She has a father? Could that be true? The last thing she wants is to fall for some kind of scam.
So she logs in again and checks this guy's profile. Parent/child. Relationship: brooks1963 is your father. Confidence: 99.9%.
Wow. She's not quite ready to believe it yet, even though this was one of the reasons she took the test in the first place: the hope of finding some living relatives besides her mother that she doesn't know of.
Hmpf. There's only one person who knows the truth. Even if she never wanted to meet this person again.

She dials Ramona's number, as usual when something unexpected happens in her life.

Kerry is greeted by a waterfall of excited blabber before she can even say hi. "Ooh Kerry, what a surprise that you call just now, I have amazing news and wanted to let you know too! I literally just picked up the phone to call you and then I see your name on the display, haha, isn't that funny?" Ramona can sound like a teenager when she's so excited about something.
"Oh yeah? Well, I actually called you for the same reason, to share some crazy news. Alright, you first then."
"I am pregnant! Derik will finally have a sibling too!"
"Wow, congrats! That's awesome! Well, so for my news... I think I found my father."
"What? Wow, way to steal the spotlight from my announcement..."
"Uh, I'm sorry?"
"I mean, that's pretty crazy! Are you sure about that?"

"Hm, looks like it but I don't know... There's only one way to find out really. Ramona, I need to check back with my mother and ask her to confirm the story. Would you mind looking after the girls for a day? I need to go back to where I grew up and meet her again. But I really don't want to bring the kids into it, my mother has always been... unpredictable."
"Of course, no problem, just bring them over and we'll have a fun day together. Hey, you did hear that I'm pregnant, yes?"
Kerry rolls her eyes. "Yes, Ramona, and I congratulated you. I'm very happy for you and Harry. How do you feel? When did you find out?"
And so Kerry and Ramona chatter away about pregnancies, toddlers, and long lost relatives for almost an hour.

***

It is such a strange thing to come back to a place you had left behind. Kerry feels nothing but emptiness, a result of too many conflicting feelings inside her.

She knows every corner of this place, but she does not belong here anymore. Trying not to think of anything other than the reason she came here, Kerry walks straight towards the high-rise building that was once her home.
The air is chill at this time of the year. She should have bundled up better.

And there it is. She looks up to see the windows that belong to her mother's apartment dark and she suddenly realizes that she didn't even prepare for the possibility that her mother isn't at home at all.

And then she hears a familiar voice: Ms. Atkins, an old neighbor.
"Kerry, girl, how are you? It's been ages since I saw you! Come 'ere, let me see you. Oh my, have you grown up!"

"Thanks, Ms. Atkins. I'm actually here to visit my mother."
"But she's not here, sweetie! Did she not tell you? Oooh, too ashamed to tell her daughter I suppose..."
"Tell me what?"
"Ah, her little drinking problem... she has been admitted to Bridgeport rehab clinic. But aren't you cold, child? You'll catch a cold or worse wandering the nights like this! Come, let me invite you on a tea, it will warm you right up from the inside!"
"Bridgeport rehab?", Kerry asks, ignoring the tea time offer. "Mhh. Thanks for the info, you've been a great help, Ms. Atkins. I'm kind of in a hurry so I can't really accept your kind offer right now. Another time, yes?", she lies and quickly says her goodbye before old Atkins can start blabbering more.
"And put a coat on, child! It's cold!", the old woman yells after her as Kerry walks off.

Her mother in rehab, now that is something Kerry never expected to hear. She was never one to admit her own problems or, gods forbid, seek help from others. She must have been truly desparate if she agreed to take this step.

***

Kerry manages to sneak into the rehab clinic by showing her ID and saying that she's a patient's daughter and that her mother expects her visit. The receptionist didn't care enough to confirm this and simply nods into the direction of her mother's room. So much for confidentiality.
The room reminds her of the ones in the womens' shelter she stayed in during her first pregnancy. They clearly tried to keep the colors warm and friendly, but that couldn't get rid of the hopelessness that lingers around this place. And there, on the bed, lies her mother.

It's her. After all these years.
It takes her a very long second to react.
"Kerry...? Why are you here? How did you...? Where have you been? How did you find me?"

"I'm here to ask you something important."
"I never expected you to visit me without needing something from me", her mother scoffs now that she regained some of her composure again.
"And I'll get straight to the point, too: do you know a man named Marcus Brooks?"
Her mother's face when she hears the name already answers the question. "Hmm, yes. But how do you know him? "
"Long story short, I had my DNA tested out of curiosity and was told that he is my father."
"Now that's some news... Sit down, Kerry", her mother says and begins to tell her story.

"By the time I noticed I was pregnant - with you - I was already with another man. Me and Marcus were only together for a short time, you could barely call it a relationship. So I thought that Rick, this other guy, was your father. I tried to get him to pay child support but he never acknowledged paternity. Guess he was right after all. It was a long drawn-out process and I just didn't have the nerves to deal with it at the time so eventually I just gave up. I would have to raise you on my own anyway."

"It never came to your mind to look into who my father is? To find Marcus? I could have had an actual father!", Kerry reacts, unable to hide her anger and disappointment.
"Look, it was a rough time for me. And finding someone you have little information about beyond his name was hard in times of no internet." She pauses briefly to take a deep breath. "So is that all you came here for? Just to blame your mother again for things that happened decades ago? Do you even have any idea how hard it was to raise a child all alone?"

Of course Kerry does have a very good idea of that, but her mother doesn't know. Kerry is trembling in frustration. She can't bring herself to say it. Surely if her mother knew about Jade and Ruby she'd want to meet them, but Kerry doesn't want to introduce her little ones to a grandma that is rarely sober, always easily irritated, and sometimes violent.

What is worse: letting her know that she has two granddaughters and then not allowing her to see them, or not telling her in the first place? Kerry decides for the second option. It's easier for everyone involved.

While Kerry is lost in her inner monologue, her mother now finally loses it and can't sit still any longer. She's screaming now, clearly out of her mind. Kerry instinctively takes a step back to avoid a smack in the face.

"Why did you run away? Why?! I gave all my money for your food, your clothes, your school, I dealt with your moods, I visited every doctor with you when you were sick, I stayed at home to look after you when I could have been out having fun. And what did I get in return? An ungrateful brat that leaves her mother behind as soon as she can."

Only a few years ago Kerry wouldn't have dared to speak up against her mother, but this is a different life now, and so she raises her voice as well. "Grateful for what? For doing the bare minimum to keep me alive? Is it my fault now that I was born?"

"If it weren't for you I could have had a good life and not...", her mother gestures at the small room they're in,  "...this. You don't even know why I'm here, do you? I'm sick, my body is damaged, and guess why? Because my own daughter left me alone! You should be here, not me!"

It is very, very hard for Kerry to hold back her tears, but her mother is the last person she wants to cry in front of. Maybe remnants from her childhood when her mom would get terribly angry everytime Kerry cried. STOP crying! it still echoes in her ears.

There's a lot she could say, but she can't bring it out. Instead she just quietly states "I'm done here" and leaves the room.

"Yeah, leave me alone, like you did before! Go, just go!" These are the last words she hears from her mother.

When she's back on Bridgeport's streets again, she can finally let the tears flow. The night wind makes her shiver, but she endures it and takes her time walking back to Ramona's house where Jade and Ruby spend a fun day. There is a lot to think about, but at least she has the information she came for: she has a father, and he is interested in meeting her. Despite tonight's drama, Kerry is so excited.

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