1.7 - The last depressing chapter

Kerry would have been sleeping for another few hours if it wasn't for that damn phone ringing on the night table and in her brain.

Who on earth calls her at... whatever time it is? Her head feels like it's about to explode... Wait, what happened last night? How did she get here?

She tries to recollect her memories and ignores the call but it starts angrily ringing again only seconds later.

The caller is persistent so she forces herself to stand up and turn the lights on, which immediately triggers another wave of sharp pain in her head.
"Okay, fine, fine, I come! ... uhhh, my head..."

She grabs her phone. It's Ramona's name on the display. "Ramona, what the heck does she - oh... oh no...", she slowly realizes.

"Hey, uh... hi Ramona. -
Oh, could you please lower your voice... My head hurts. -
Ruby? Oh yeah no, of course I didn't forget about her... -
Sorry to make you worry. I'm just... I'm feeling really terrible. I'm sick. Yeah, sick. -
Listen, could you maybe come over, please? I don't think I can make it in this... state."

Ramona was babysitting Ruby for the anniversary night and Kerry agreed to call her when the party is over and then decide whether Ruby would stay overnight or not, depending on how late it would be. But Kerry never called, and didn't respond to any calls either until now.

Now somewhat relieved that she finally answered a call, Ramona enters through the unlocked door and sees Kerry all curled up in her bed again.

"Kerry?", she calls, "what's up?" But she already caught the strong scent of alcohol. It's pretty obvious why Kerry didn't call the night before, and why she's feeling so sick now.

Kerry gets up from her bed but she's still feeling shaky. She tries not to look too guilty. Did she seriously forget about her daughter? What kind of mother does that... Oh yeah, her mother. And she thought she'd be a better parent than her.

"I'm sorry, Ramona", she mumbles and then cooes at Ruby. "Hi Ruby, my baby, how are you? Had a fun time with Ramona and Derik?" 

"You're not sick", Ramona realizes. "You're just having a really bad hangover. You didn't call me because you were too wasted to remember you had a daughter, right?! Are you out of your damn mind? And I even told you before , you have no control, you... -" 

She rants away like this for a while, but Kerry has a hard time to process everything, her brain still under the influence of last night's drinks. 

"You know what, just go back to bed and sleep it off, I look after Ruby because you are clearly not able to right now. But when you wake up we will talk and you will explain to me what the hell was going on in your mind!", Ramona yells and causes another headache for Kerry with every word.

"And just so you know, I'm doing that for Ruby, not for you!", she adds before slamming the bedroom door behind her.

***

Miraculously, she had not been fired on the spot, mostly because her boss was the only one to see her in this embarrassing state. However, Mr. Henry made it fairly clear that she will not get a full paid position at 2Pro Inc, nor should she hope for a good job reference letter; as soon as her temporary contract ends she will once again be without job.

Needless to say that she's not doing her tasks with great enthusiasm anymore, but she needs the money so she stays at the company as long as she's allowed to.
Her mind keeps going back to the anniversary night. If only she had listened to her friend's advice...
The bitter irony of it: it wasn't even that long ago that she ran away from her drinking mother in pursuit of a better life, and now she is a mother herself, feeling guilty because of a night of drinking too much.

***

Three months have passed since that night and luckily she and Ramona have reconciled again so Kerry would have a reason to feel a bit happier again, but she doesn't. She's been in this depressed state for a while now. Nothing ever seems to go right in her life.
There's acne forming on her face and she also gained some weight.

Her body changes, it's like puberty all over again. There's no point in denying it. She will get tested but she already knows the result. She's pregnant again.
Breaking out in tears would seem like an appropriate reaction to her realization, but she's not in the mood for that now, or maybe she just lacks the energy to do so.
Perhaps the breakdown comes later.

She feels like she's back at the same spot where she started her adult life about one and a half years ago. Young, pregnant, unemployed. Alone.

Well, not completely alone. She has a daughter and a bossy cat now, both demanding their fair share of attention. But it's not like they can help her with her current situation.

"I'm so done with this life...", she mumbles as she gives Richie some chin scratches.
"DONE!", Ruby parrots from the floor in front of her.
"I have to watch what I'm saying now, you're starting to understand too much!", Kerry laughs , "You're getting too clever, Ruby!"
Ruby makes a satisfied gurgling noise because she made her mom smile again and Kerry stands up from the couch and picks her up.

She already managed one child, how bad could one more be? Motherhood has its good and joyful moments too after all.
The constant lack of money will be the main problem, but she knows who could help her with that... whether he wants it or not.

***

She knocks on her boss's door and enters the room.
"This better be important, Harris. I'm a busy man, you know", he says without even looking up from his screen.
"It is. To get straight to the point, I'm pregnant."
"Aha", he barely acknowledges her words, his eyes still glued to his work.

"It's yours."

This, at least, causes him to finally look at her. "Surely that can't be... could be anyone's -"

"No. Don't you even try playing that game with me!", Kerry raises her voice. "There are DNA tests to prove that you're the father and I'm sure your wife would insist on such a test if word got to her that -"

"Alright, I understand", Mr. Henry interrupts her. "Just keep your voice down and I'm sure we can solve this, uh, issue. So why did you come to me with these... news?"
"Isn't that obvious? I can't afford to feed two children, especially not without a job."
"You're trying to blackmail me then?", he says with innocent puppy eyes that don't really suit a successful grown man.

"Yeah, damn right I am! Now stop making yourself the victim 'cause I'm the one carrying the child."
 It feels so good to finally be in the aggressor's position after a lifetime of having people step all over her. "You have a lot more to lose than I do", she reminds him.
A wife, children, a high position in this company and people who respect him... This clean reputation of his should be more important to him than money, which he has more than enough of anyway.

"How much do you want then?", he asks.
"I'm glad you ask because I could sure use some money, but that's not the main reason why I'm here."
What Kerry really wants and needs more than some quick money for now, is a chance to provide for herself long-term, to have a secure and hopefully well-paid position herself. "I'm out of here in less than two months. I will need a new job."

"Obviously.", he states.
"You're well-respected in this industry. You're going to write a recommendation letter for me."

And so they seal the deal. Some cash and a flowery job reference in exchange for keeping quiet and "staying out of his way with that damn brat".